St Valentine, Patron Saint of fainting

St. Valentine was in fact a Christian martyr, put to death in 269 AD in Rome and buried on the Flaminian Way. When he was first arrested he was well liked by the then ruler Claudius II, or Claudius the Goth, until he made the fatal error of trying to convert him to the Christian faith. Oh dear, cannot blame a bloke for trying, but he paid the ultimate penalty for this little error. He is also credited with the miraculous restoration of the jailer’s blind daughter’s sight. He performed many Christian marriage ceremonies and thus became the Patron Saint of Love.  He is also the

Patron Saint of engaged couples, beekeepers (uh), epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, plague (give me a break), young people and travellers (now I thought that was St. Christopher, still cannot have too many Saints watching over you). Claudius the Goth, I wonder if he dressed in black, painted his eyes and wore black lippy??

When I was younger, a few decades ago, I used to get mysterious cards and red roses. My largest haul was three dozen red roses. I also once had a Valentine-a-gram. This consisted of a 5′ 6″ medallion man arriving at my office door, shirt unbuttoned down to his navel, portable CD player on his shoulder, a silver tray with a glass of champagne on, and a rose. He pressed the start button on the CD player and out blasted ‘Some Enchanted Evening’ (why not Tina Turner’s ‘Simply the Best,’  I hear you ask; yeh, I  would have expected that too.) As the music played he made his way across the room and then, I promise you there was nothing in his way, he tripped and spilled the champagne all over my carpet. Of course, by now, my secretary and I were doubled up on the carpet (with the champagne) laughing. Not the best Valentine I ever received, but most certainly, the funniest.


Last year I told agile Chris I would save the cards we bought each other and recycle them by giving each other the same cards.  I kept to the idea, but agile Chris decided I was cheapskate and bought me a new one.  He also bought me a rosemary plant (for remembrance), two geranium plants and a palm tree. Before this strange old woman took over my body I used to get roses. What did I get agile Chris, well I remembered to take out and give him his recycled card; it is the thought that counts.

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