Making a TRNC will to protect your assets

TheftIs this the next scamwave?

I need to be a little careful about the way I phrase this piece, as I may be treading on very thin ice. So at the very beginning I’ll say that all characters and events in this article are fictional and any resemblance to companies or persons, real or perceived is purely a figment of the readers’ imagination.

In the light of the current dearth of property sales, possibly caused by the adverse publicity in various media, I see not only the construction industry in North Cyprus in the doldrums.

The legal profession, leaving the current theft case and the financial debacle over K5 to one side, has been left with a deep if not awesome cash flow problem. Unlike other sectors of the economy, the legal trade (if I dare use the two words in conjunction with TRNC which is “Illegal”) is trying its utmost to come out of the depression in much the same way the banks caused the financial crash. They are becoming inventive. New ways to ensure the client is safe under the new code of due care and ethics.

Now I come to the tricky bit as the mails were marked confidential and for the addressee only, so  I can’t quote verbatim (bit difficult any way seeing as they are imagined e-mails) so I’ll try and give you the gist of a lawyer / client communication.

Hallo Client, I’m the chief bottle washer at Unerd and Upyors  Legal Trade Ltd. You’ve never heard of me because I’m new here. I have been going through your file and see you have a property in TRNC, but no will. (How do they know this? Can they see inside my safe?) We can do you, a will ( I think the will bit was an afterthought.) They then go on to explain why and what for and how my assets would be protected under TRNC Law when I died. Special price only 700 Yiddish shillings.

Can I detect some smiles out there, yeah, the joke, TRNC law protecting my assets. They can’t do it when I’m alive to fight for my rights, it’s the two hopes  when I’m dead (Bob and No).

I asked the question very politely, what specifically was the law going to protect when I was dead?

The Unerd and Uyors legal trade Ltd put their expert on the case, the new boy wasn’t up to it it seemed. The “specialist” was surprised at the questions and just repeated the statement that if I paid the fee a standard form would be drawn up covering all my properties and registered (where we don’t know) and my rights (undefined) would be under the full protection of the law. The question about what assets I actually owned met with equal consternation. How do you answer that question? Do I have the deeds? I asked. No, came the reply. Do I have a valid claim against the bank that holds a mortgage on that which I have paid for? No. What do I need a will for then? To protect your assets. What are they? And so on and so and so on.

My renewed questions, as to what rights and which laws, have to date been unanswered, but it does seem a real bargain price. I bet it was a special offer just for me. I bet nobody else got that kind of offer. I really am flattered. Makes you feel really warm inside, just knowing that someone cares.

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