Faulty Villas – the downfall of Kulaksiz 5

Manuel at the Faulty Towers Dining Experience, Edinburgh

like most of you, Chris and I arrived here with hopes of a stress free retirement where the biggest decision we would have to make would be one Efes or two. In common with so many, that was not to be the case.

From the beginning there were problems, but never in our wildest dreams could we have envisaged how these problems would mushroom and grow (sounds a bit like my wardrobes).

When we first realised the problems of cracking in our villa were of a structural nature, rather than simply settlement, we called on a company advertising in Cyprus Today, from memory I believe they were called Picea. A very nice lady visited me and said yes, we did indeed have significant problems caused by the fact that the villa was built on ‘red clay’ which would have needed special attention when putting in the foundations. She went on to inform me that in the fullness of time, all the villas on Kulaksiz 5 would be similarly affected. How right she turned out to be, now either she was a psychic or knew what she was talking about. I have written about the problems my neighbours are now experiencing, the only difference is that theirs took longer to reveal themselves.

The young lady from Picea rather blew her credibility with me when she demanded £5000 just to investigate the problem, the remedial work would be extra. She was talking about sending samples to the University in Famagusta. I said thank you but no thank you and contacted the builder.

At this time relations between the builder and most of Kulaksiz 5 were very good. I asked the builder to show me copies of the soil analysis they undertook before building. Will you stop laughing, remember I still thought they were reputable builders and hadn’t realised they had no ears. Giving me a look that bore a remarkable similarity to Manuel from Faulty Towers, I think the reply was a Turkish version of ‘pardon’, or it could have been ‘stupid woman’, but how would I know? The result was that in the November of that year they rebuilt the back end of my villa. It was important, they told me, that it had to be done after the first winter rains. Bearing in mind it was the same builders (I use ther term loosely) and they did exactly the same as they had before, it is hardly surprising that the problems recurred. They tried again, but this time it had to be in March because the rains would be finished, go figure. Needless to say, it didn’t resolve the problem and my villa today is as bad as all the others on Kulaksiz 5.

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