Sid tells it like it HISS

Hello, my name is Sid Dervis. I am a white and black, handsome Cypriot cat and I live with my two slaves in Karsiyaka. I call them Mum & Dad because that seems to keep them happy. Please excuse any mistakes, although I do write a regular internet diary in English my computer skills are not yet purfect.

I am writing here because my Dad is not very well, him and Mum have been fighting for five years to have our home finished and they are always leaving me and my best friend Milly out of the house so they can support others with problems. He says he has lost count of how much we have spent trying to sort our problems and going to help others; he reckons it would feed us four cats for a lifetime.

Apparently we are luckier than many people because most of our building is finished, our problem is electricity. I do not understand because we have a very long cable leading from our house to a box with a clock in it and I thought that was electricity. But Dad has explained that it is only a temporary thing which has lasted 5 years so far and called Builders’ Electric. Now I understand why Me and Milly cannot have big parties with lights and music like the other cats, it’s because it costs three times what other cats’ homes pay.

This just is not fair. I am Cypriot, why do I have to suffer? Well it seems the greedy Cypriot builder took Mum & Dad’s money but he then spent it all on his new car and gambling. He did not pay money to the government that was needed to get electric connected properly. Now the government say that unless we pay the fees for all six houses we cannot even apply for electricity.

I have read all the stuff on the internet about Cyprus and it seems lots of Cyprus builders have done the same, and worse things, but the government will do nothing to try to sort out the mess. Mum & Dad have done lots of writing and protesting, going to different events over the last five years but nothing happens. Dad says it is due to most English people having a complaint called HISS. Well I just cannot understand why people would want to keep their head in sand all the time; it is nearly as bad as dogs always licking their ballcocks.

It seems the last straw for Dad was last week when they went to yet another event, supporting some people who are having their homes taken off them because a greedy builder did not pay HIS debts to a bank. I am not sure how this actually works; a builder has a debt and 10 families who have paid for their homes have them taken off them. Dad says that the company are merchant bankers and the owners should be made into dog food, certainly not fit for cats.

Well, lots of people said they would turn up and did not, then there was a story in the next newspaper about lots more people with similar problems, where were they? To top it off, when Dad put on the computer thing that he he’d had enough, a total idiot who had never been to any of these events before said dad should not give up at the first hurdle. I am sorry but I cannot repeat what he said about that moron but it was not polite.

I honestly think Me, Milly and our friends Miss Ginger and Mr Jet could sort these problems out but I am sure there will be a law that says cats are not allowed in parliament. I just want to say to you humans, you must work together with everyone on the same team to get anything done. Dad will not be going any more, he has not got HISS just totally pi**ed with trying and nobody else bothering.

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