Help NCFP – Use AMAZON

We get 4% from Amazon so when ordering CLICK BELOW

  

Cheapest.co.uk

ukcheapest

[OPINION] Ali Baba and the 40 thieves, revisited

Today children, I want to tell you a ‘what if’ story. My story starts when the Annan plan was rejected by the south.

Now the people in the north realised that their isolation was going to last a lot longer than they had bargained for and since they had only one real source of income, tourism, and that was on the skids, what were they to do?

Now some clever person, Ali Baba, thought, ‘what if’ we concentrate on the property market and get those stupid expats to keep pumping their money into the economy  over and over again. We have some very old laws, he thought, which will enable us to sell them property, take their money and then borrow money on their property from the banks. No, don’t worry about repayments, the banks won’t expect any. Then when the debt increases to the point where we can get the banks to steal the houses back, we can buy them cheaply at an auction, using some of the money the expats paid for them, and sell them all over again.

So Ali Baba set up his Estate Agency and had a staff of 40. Day after day in came unsuspecting lambs (expats) who were quickly herded to a salesperson and taken to see pictures of the (slaughter) houses on offer. Ali couldn’t believe what a goldmine he had stumbled on, not only was he getting commission on selling the same houses over and over again, he was getting a kick back from the Advocates he was recommending, a kickback from the furniture and white goods stores his ‘lambs’ were introduced to and even managed to get introductory commission from landscaping firms. Goody, he thought, when we come to resell these houses, the gardens will look so nice.

Now one day poor Ali realised that his ‘lambs’ were not flocking (sorry) through his doors as often as they used to, his poor builders were having to sell their 4 x 4’s, the banks were getting cold feet and didn’t want to play anymore and they even started to want their money back having suddenly realised that not all the ‘lambs’ suffered from HISS and some might in fact have been wolves in sheep’s clothing. Drat they said, ‘we never thought of that.’ The ‘lambs’ were revolting (I don’t think they were that bad.) They were going to the Advocates and taking legal action. The Advocates were rubbing their hands, oh goody more money for us. Some of the ‘lambs’ even won Judgements which made Ali furious as he had never bargained for this.

Eventually, the lambs said what if we approach the Government; they will surely see the injustice and help us, won’t they? So one day the ‘lambs’ did approach the Government who made all sorts of promises and all regretted the terrible things that had happened to the ‘lambs’. Then the Government sat back and decided what they would do – NOTHING – and the ‘lambs’ did not live happily ever after, in fact some just dropped dead on the spot!

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share

Comments are closed.