Kollapsiz – Episode 2

breakawayWe moved in to our home on Kulaksiz  5  in May 2006.  According to the Contract, that made delivery of the villa six months late, so there were already with 6 months of late penalty payments due to us, i.e. 6 x £500 which equals £3000.  Just after moving in we had a visit from  Carl and Orhan Cimer the public relations officer for Kulaskiz. Orhan pulled Carl to one side and whispered something to him, Carl then told us that unless we paid the final payment of £5,200, Orhan would call the police and have us ‘kicked’ out.   My response, ‘go right ahead, do that’. Obviously he was bluffing and did not.  It makes you wonder though just how many people these tactics have been used on and just how many, through fear, paid up.

By the November of the same year we were living across the road in a neighbour’s house for a month whilst the first round of structural repairs were being carried out.  During the preceding month the villa had deteriorated so rapidly that the back end was unsafe.

Also during that period we underwent the saga of the swimming pool.  Having received a photo of a beautifully completed pool in December 05 we allowed our Advocate to pass over the £15,000 due for it.  Of course, and I am sure you are all way ahead of me on this one, it was not our pool.  In fact our pool was completed by May 2006 but was not watertight until August 2006.  From May to August, the builder would work on the pool, test fill it, and within a week the water would have disappeared spontaneously.  Strangely, we never ever found out where the water went.

Orhan told me he would go to bed thinking of our pool and wake up in the morning thinking of our pool.   Ironic to think that the only work Kulaksiz now seems to be doing is pool work as a subcontractor for an ‘Award Winning’ builder here.

The winter months also brought to light another water problem.  Having a flat roof seems, on the face of it, a lovely idea.  Well yes, if your builder has the foresight to make arrangements for the winter rainwater to be safely dispatched from your roof, then I am sure it is perfect.  Typical of Kollapsis, no such arrangement had been made, unless you consider  a gully with a piece of guttering  cemented in at either end  adequate.  The first heavy rainfall left us with waterfalls either end of the roof.  Now Heath Robinson, better known to you all as Chris (you remember agile Chris who can dodge a moving vehicle whilst allegedly wielding a baseball bat) decided that he had better solve this problem.

After much thought and many technical drawings on the back of a cigarette packet, he came up with a blue print.  Take one mile of drain pipe, arrange it strategically around the house, having first joined it to the ends of each of the protruding pipes cemented in by the builder, bring the pipes down the wall, balance them on the garden wall so that the water can then discharged safely into the field next door.  There was minor hitch in that when the rain was particularly heavy the water came at such a pressure that the pipes sagged.  No problem for Heath, he went to the local metal worker and had him make two supports to place under the pipes to support the weight.   Chris did ask me if there was a Patents Office here as he really thought he was on to a winner.  I gently told him there wasn’t but in any event it didn’t look very pretty.  Poor love.  I also pointed out that not everyone has a handy field next door.  He hadn’t thought of that.

On a more serious note, Akfinans Bank Limited plans to sell these villas to more hapless victims.  That they will get possession of these villas, I have no doubt.  The Government have no power or will to stop the inevitable.  They say they have protected new purchasers, well I say how? You certainly did not protect us.  How long do you think it will take the rogues to find the next ‘loophole’ in the law and exploit it?  Is the law that allowed this abomination still on the statute books?

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