Good News from the Government
A Government Minister says that from today:
- Permission to Purchase will now take 24 hours to complete;
- Title Deeds will be issued immediately full payment is received and any mortgages on a property will be cleared using this payment;
- Building Inspectors will make weekly visits to building sites and any found to be contravening local laws or building regulations will result in an on the spot fine;
- Lawyers will be struck off if they are found to be acting without a duty of care or acting illegally;
- Laws of defamation will only be allowed to be applied, and a writ issued, if damages can be proven first;
- Police will be trained to enforce laws wherever they apply and on everyone who breaks them, including themselves;
- Driving licenses will only be issued to those who have been shown to be able to drive;
- A red traffic light will mean a car has to stop;
- Undertaking a car while another car overtakes it will now be treated as dangerous driving;
- Visitors will no longer be found to be automatically guilty in a traffic accident;
- Full change MUST be given in shops or banks or otherwise the customer must not be left out of pocket;
- It is illegal to offer 2-for-1 deals consisting of two items taped together, at least one of which has a concealed date showing they beyond their sell-by-date;
- A receipt will be issued with every purchase;
- Lying in a business transaction is now illegal, although a period of two years will be allowed for this cultural upheaval to be accommodated;
- Supermarket deep freezers must be left on overnight;
- Prices shown on products must represent those that customers eventually pay, and visitors will no longer be required to pay double;
- Newspapers without news will be charged for breaking Trade Description laws;
- The sport of dog kicking will be banned;
- Turkey has paid the EU €10bn to recognised the North as an independent country;
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