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Pirate Pete’s Advice Column – “are pirates from the north of the island worse than those from the south?”

Me problem today was brought to me in a nicely written parchment which according to the postmark was dispatch a year ago:

Pirate Pete, I travelled to the south of the island to buy luxuries not available in the north and was accosted by a pirate who stole my bags. On my return to the north I was accosted by a pirate there who stole my wallet. Who is the worse pirate, the one in the south or the one in the north?”

Luke Porc

Well, Luke, as the Pirate Einstein was known to mutter sometimes, “it’s all relative.” These wise words help us to solve this puzzle. You see because the pirates on both sides are probably relatives then there is reason to believe they are near enough the same. On Pirate Island, piracy is in the blood and you’ll find it throughout the island equally. But, to return to your sorry tale, and this is not because I’m a northerner, to me it seems the pirate from the south is the worse. Calls himself a pirate and yet he only took your bag and missed your wallet! That’s the worse piece of piracy I’ve ever encountered!

Next week’s problem is from a reader who wants to know where all his gold has gone which he buried beneath the magical money multiplying tree in my garden.

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