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Notes from Lapta, Cyprus – In the Beginning… by Ken Dunn

Here’s a short ‘interpretation’ of a well-known and revered ancient text. It seems highly appropriate at the present time in terms of what is happening in the TRNC right now. However, I have an idea that I may have to keep my head down for a while if certain agencies read it.

‘In the beginning was the Plan for the house.

And then came the ramifications, delays and financial demands.

But the ramifications, delays and financial demands were unacceptable,

And the Plan was without substance,

And darkness fell upon the face of the ex-pats,

And they spake amongst themselves, saying,

“It is a crock of sxxt and it stinketh.”

And the ex-pats went unto their ‘lawyers’ and sayeth,

“It is a pail of dung and none can abide the odour thereof.”

And the ‘lawyers’ went unto the courts and sayeth,

“It is a container of excrement and it is very strong.”

And courts went unto the Government and sayeth,

“It is a vessel of fertiliser and none can abide its strength.”

And the Government spake to the Builders saying,

“It contains that which aids plant growth and is very strong.”

And the Builders entered into correspondence with the ‘Lawyers’ inscribing,

“It promotes growth and is very powerful.”

And the Builders then begged audience of the Judge and sayeth to him,

“This new plan will actively promote Growth and Efficiency of this country and certain ‘Strategic Areas’ in particular.

And the Judge looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good and recommended it to the Government.

And the Plan became Policy and was adopted into the Framework of the State, thereby ensuring the complete and total demise of the Country.

That’s seems to be a fair summation of what’s actually happening in the TRNC at the moment. I do hope it will change, and soon. But, just to ‘push my luck’ a little further here’s another short ‘lexicological’ observation. Definitions of the obscure use of the language seen below will follow.

Over the years there has been a great deal of ‘BAVARDAGE’ mixed with high levels of ‘ANTINOMY’. The many official decisions over these ludicrous and infuriating house purchase/ownership/confiscation issues have often been highly and incredibly ‘CONTRAINDICATED’ instead of being handled via ‘DEFENESTRATION’ and without any apparent need to ‘EXPOSTULATE’.

It will be ‘FACINOROUS’ to continue in this way without the danger of seeing how ‘GELOGENIC’ some of the comments made by certain agencies have been but there seems to be a high degree of ‘OLIGOPHRENIA’ in all attempts to defend their actions and with more than a touch of being ‘JEJUNE’ for most of the time.

Will these honest ex-pats continue to suffer from ‘KATISTOCRACY’ and ever see the arrival of ‘ARISTARCHY’?

Only time will tell.


BAVARDAGE                        Foolish or empty chatter.

CONTRAINDICATED         Inadvisable.

DEFENESTRATION            Throwing someone or something out of a window.

EXPOSTULATE                    To reason earnestly.

FACINOROUS                       Wicked.

GELOGENIC                          Laughter provoking.

JEJUNE                                  Short on worthwhile content.

KAKISTOCRACY                  Government by the worst citizens.

ARISARCHY                          Government by the best qualified.

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