Robin’s Snippets – it’s only a joke Mr Kücük

So here’s a little moral story, lifted admittedly from the annals of the late, great and much lamented German Democratic Republic. But, there are so many parallels which make the rewrite acceptable.

The Prime Minister and his deputy are doing a tour of the country, thinking it’s about time he showed face as the free and democratic elections are just round the corner and we need all the positive PR we can get.

First trip is a visit to a primary school in Yenibogazi. The headmaster and all the teachers are lined up to greet the visiting dignitaries and press entourage. After being shown round the somewhat run down class rooms and school facilities the Prime Minister asks the Headmaster if there is anything the Government can do for the school.

The head is delighted at the question and presents a list of “nice to haves” like pencils and exercise books, chalk for the blackboards and a new plaque for the outside of the school commemorating his visit.

The Prime Minister, gravely considers the list and sadly shaking his head says that in the current economic situation, austerity is paramount and there could be no extra spending allowed. Crest fallen, the head steps back and the staff wave the dignitaries and their party good bye.

Second visit is a kindergarten in Famagusta where a similar scene plays out, again with the Prime Minister saying he couldn’t justify asking Turkey for more money for chairs and a new toilet in these hard times.

The third stop of the day is the central prison in Lefkosa. Here after a tour of the primitive cells and the very basic toilet and bathing facilities the Prime Minister calls the deputy and his aide to him and starts reeling off a list of things the prison needs desperately and these are to be ordered immediately. Amongst them airconditioning units, TVs, a swimming pool, new double beds, new en suite bathrooms and new recreational facilities with snooker, darts and a mini casino.

The press are naturally dumbfounded. Aghast one reporter stutters, “Hang on, you decline to buy pencils and paper for a primary school, you deny basic equipment for a nursery school, but you spend millions on the central prison? How come?”.

As the Prime Minister got back in his car he snapped back angrily “You don’t think I’m going back to school do you?”

No disrespect Mr Kücük, but it’s a one way street.

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