Pirate Pete’s Advice Column – “my boat was taken from me, what should I do?”

Me first problem were sent to me in a bottle by one of me parchment readers:

“Pirate Pete, I arrived at Pirate Island a year ago and was hoping to have a small boat built here. I paid for it in full only to discover that the boat I thought was mine, last week was given to Alf Finan the Banker to pay the boat builder’s gambling debts. I complained to the boat builder and all he did was play with his eye patch and say, “that’s the way it is here”. I complained to Alf Finan and all he did was play with his wooden leg and he also said “that’s the way it is here”. I went all the way to the top and spoke to the island’s Governor and he wouldn’t even look at me and all he did was talk to the parrot on his shoulder, which strangely said “that’s the way it is here”.

So, Pirate Pete, what should I do?

Andy Briton”

Well, Andy, as sure as I’ve a hook instead of a hand, there is one thing you can be sure of on Pirate Island, and that’s the fact that it’s full of pirates. One thing you have to learn to do is to sort the pirates from the good folk. That’s easy enough; good folk don’t steal yer boat. If you’d stuck to that simple rule and realised that pirates are usually up to no good, and realise that Pirate Island is full of pirates, you can’t go wrong in the future.

Next week’s problem is from Nick D, who has been imprisoned on Pirate Island for not paying for an invisible, pink flying elephant he said he never ordered.

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