Geoff Day’s 54th TRNC court appearance – Never Ending Story

JusticeI am extremely grateful to David for his expert note taking in my absence. This morning I had to collate my notes ready for my meeting with the Turkish Ambassador this afternoon. I am sorry to say, David will have to be on note taking duties again tomorrow as I have a court hearing at 9.30 a.m. which we all know in Girne court speak means whenever the Judge decides to start. Then I have to hightail over to Lefkoşa for a meeting with the Chief of Police at 12.00 noon. Do you think if I ask nicely the Judge will hear my case first?

According to David’s notes, Geoff has been given a minder called Little Mo who has been instructed to throw rocks at him when he gets a little arrogant, pedantic and generally naughty. I don’t fancy your chances of keeping Geoff down Little Mo.

As per usual the 10.30 start was spot on 11.00 a.m. In came the Judge and the shouterer was vigilant and made sure everyone stood up (phew I hope he didn’t notice I wasn’t there, me mam forgot to send a note.) The Judge, Advocates and interpreter got into a huddle and it was announced that the interpreter was needed for a more ‘important’ case at 11.15 a.m. So the decision was taken that we would have only 15 minutes of ‘barbecue building for beginners’ then an early finish, and it’s not even Friday.

The 6 fire bricks had somehow overnight mysteriously appeared in court, well I have to amend that, there were four whole ones and two had been broken when they dematerialised. What have I told you Perry about messing with things you don’t understand? So now we have 8 pieces of firebrick. Never one to miss a trick, our Perry, he immediately pointed out that the broken pieces were on top of the 4 whole fire bricks and this was most irregular and not what a builder would do. I know, I know, Perry attended the school of lateral thinkers which was apparent yesterday when he proceeded to show us how to build a long, thin barbecue. Again the question ‘did you take these tiles?’ followed by Geoff’s NO answer. Perry, the answer is not going to change no matter how many times you ask. Perry said that this is a sign you did not buy the tiles. Geoff said ‘ I do not accept your comment’. Perry ‘ You stole them from Reg.’ Geoff again said ‘No.’

Perry – ‘You do not need 6 tiles to build a barbecue.’ Geoff  – ‘I have a letter here from a Chartered Surveyor detailing exactly what is required.’ The court refused to enter this letter into evidence at this stage. Geoff then repeats that he is not an expert but one will be called if necessary to detail exactly what is required. Looks like you are on Stuart.

The next hearing is 10.30 a.m. tomorrow

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